The cooking lesson

Hi, and Welcome to this evening's cooking lesson. Tonight we'll be focusing on desserts.
We will be learning how to bake all the things that you hate in one cake.

So Lets begin.


C is for catholisism
A is for acting, to get people to like you
K is for karly stouffer
E is for eggs, hard boiled

Hm that one tasted like salt and steam and the stink of a broken belief. No, no that's not what i'm looking for.
Let's try that again.


C is for can't do
A is for absence
K is for kiwi, the bird that is nearly
E xtinct

No, that one just tasted like blackness and melancholy like the cake pan was filled on just the edges and it burned all the way through. No, not right.
Let's try that again.

C is for cocaine
A is my addiction to
K illing
E veyone.

Now if I didn't know better I would say that one was baked by H. H. Holme, himself. Now who let him in the kitchen?

C is for cutesy.
A is for american girl dolls
K is for Kelly Clarkson
E is for evergreens the kind made into christmas trees

Really now, you're just letting anybody in. Get my cousin out of the kitchen.
That was nonsense. Now let's bake a proper cake.

C is for carelessness, critisicm
A is for aches
K is for kangaroos in isolation at the zoo. Never having enough room to jump or move. and to think all this trouble just to meet you.
E is for electricity where it doesn't belong. Electric lights when i'm trying to sleep. Neon signs when i need to write.

Yes those are all the things i hate. This cake is marvelous. It tastes of ash and mortar and all the things that boiled over. Yes that is a proper cake. Dig in, bon appétit.